Monday, 19 August 2013

Facing fear with a pair of knitted socks

Apologies if you have been waiting with baited breath for me to blog. I am slow at the moment due to really needing to find a job and doing much more than I need to to accomplish this, as well as running my Etsy shop. I noticed a lot of my listings needed renewing in my Etsy shop about ten days ago, three days before going to the dentist for an operation, so I naively re-listed them forgetting that a lot of my sales come from custom orders and conversations which of course need someone to answer them.

So just as I was preparing to have two impacted wisdom teeth out under sedation I suddenly had lots of enquiries in my shop to deal with which wasn't perhaps the best timing. I coped however, and completed all my orders. I was very worried about my operation and had cancelled twice, once due to it clashing with the local elections and secondly due to having to attend an interview instead. About a week after I cancelled the last time everything suddenly flared up in my mouth and I gained a nasty gum infection, a vile taste in my mouth and intense pain. The last two weeks before the procedure were unbearable but I knew it would be hard to re-arrange as I had asked to be sedated and this only happens on Mondays in a special clinic.

I had to really fight for sedation as my dentist had initially recommended a general anesthetic but I am allergic to penicillin and get very sick after a general and the dental access centre (a kind of halfway house) seemed to think I would be OK on a local. I was quite honest as I was initially told to have my two wisdom teeth out at the age of 24, eight years ago, and had avoided it all that time due to fear. I said I would not be able to attend the operation if they didn't help me in some way so they finally caved in and agreed to sedate me. It was weird when I had the procedure as I became semi-conscious at 1.40 and regained full consciousness at 2.15. I woke up not remembering a thing. I initially thought they hadn't managed to sedate me and they were going to have to put me out again. While that helped, it did feel a little bewildering.

Anyway to cut a long story short, knitting and crochet has really kept me sane this week. I wasn't in that much pain at all after the teeth were removed - in fact I instantly felt a lot better as the infection seemed to clear up straight away. My mouth is a lot less tense and I'm noticing my mouth feels relaxed in the morning, when usually they have felt sore after tooth grinding due to a very tense mouth with too many teeth in it.

The moral of my story is if you have fear you need to go and sort the fear before you can sort the thing you're afraid of. Trying to face it alone without talking to someone who understands or pretending you're not scared then cancelling the appointments should not be an option.

My next fear? Knitting in the round so I can knit a proper pair of Malabrigo socks : )

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